


I'll see you, maybe?

by themiraculousmayor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2 is for people who want to hate me or themselves lmao, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking to Cope, M/M, chapter 1 is the main thing, chapter two is an alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7154783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themiraculousmayor/pseuds/themiraculousmayor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's after the Battle of Hogwarts, and Draco and Harry are together and open about it. After a few years of living in Malfoy Manor together, Harry comes home to an empty bedroom, a crying Narcissa, and a letter with scratchy, smudged handwriting</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this is the actual ending to the story, it has a happy ending, this probably isn't great, but thanks for reading it if you did!

Voldemort was dead and Harry should've been. He wasn't though, he was alive, and so was his boyfriend, mister Draco Malfoy. Together they'd been since their fourth year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, going from bickering, to small kisses in the dark corners of the old school, to full on snogging in the Room of Requirement as they got older and their want for more physical affectionate grew. There'd been many dates in the Room of Requirement, one of the boys going early to set up the room for exactly what they wanted, and the other boy wanting his boyfriend from the room, they'd even had a date in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, the two huddle up together underneath Harry's invisibility cloak, Madam Puddifoot bringing them their tea and coffee discretely, after Harry had begged her to not tell anyone she'd seen them together, she wouldn't have no matter what, but the Potter boy didn't know this. 

All the years they'd spent together would never have prepared him for their relationship after the war. The Malfoy family had been sent to Azkaban, leaving Harry sad and alone, until Draco came back, in the middle of their "Eighth" year at Hogwarts, the made up year for all of those who were allowed to come back to finish the school year, during lunch in the Great Hall. He sat quietly with Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the few other Gryffindor's who'd come back, staring quietly at his mostly empty plate in front of him, dark and heavy bags under his eyes, and his lips cracked and bloodstained. When he caught the blindingly bright blonde standing at the head of the hall, frantically searching the hall for his messy haired, golden boy. Their reunion hug had been their outing moment, the only one's in the whole school who'd know being Professor- Now Headmaster McGonagall, as she'd caught the two quickly exchanging small pecks to the lips before separating to their classes, and Pansy, who'd always been Draco's best friend, she found out on her own, but never said anything, wanting the Malfoy to tell her on his own.

After the school year had ended, the two officially considered adult wizards, they'd moved back to Malfoy Manor, Where Narcissa still lived, now single, as her former husband, Lucius was now in Azkanban for the rest of his life. She'd welcomed Harry with open arms, and even covered the portraits of the rest of the Malfoy family, who spat degrading words at her son and her son's boyfriend, of which she absolutely did not approve. Harry chose to get a job in Hogsmeade after a year or two, and Draco didn't, but while his golden boy was away from the house, he drank himself silly, and stashed the bottles anywhere he could to hide them. Harry knew they both struggled, Harry with visions of Voldemort killing all of his friends, of Snape killing Dumbledore, of Snape dying, and hearing those who were killed in the Battle coming to him in his dreams and telling him it was all his fault, and Draco with those of the Dark Lord succeeding, and killing his Harry. Night terrors, and panic attacks they both had, but they had each other, for forever, at least that's what Harry had hoped for.

Coming home and finding Narcissa crying was, unfortunately, common. However, finding her alone, without her son by her side to cry to, was not, at all, normal. He rushed in the door, not bothering to close it, and sat down next to Narcissa, her makeup running and her hands shaking, a piece of parchment in her hands. He knew she was inconsolable for the moment, so he took the parchment from her and stood back up, reading it, his hands growing more and more shaky by the minute. 

'Harry-

I'm sorry I can't be there to tell you this in person, but I couldn't handle doing this while looking into your eyes, no matter how many times I tried I couldn't do it, I'd see those eyes and feel my heart stop and everything in my stomach threaten to come up. You've always had that affect on me, for good or for worse, I just wish it was good this time.

When I met you, I didn't have any idea of what you would become to me. I knew who you were and you just saw a snobbish boy, who was insecure and just wanted to show off. That still never went away, all the quidditch games that went on for longer because we wanted to just show off to each other, the need to one up each other in class, I could never take my eyes off of you. I still think about that match in our third year, coming into the Gryffindor tent afterwards, you had won the match, and I wasn't sure why I decided to come in in the first place, to make amends? To finally play nice? I still don't know to this day, over five years later, all I know is kissing you felt natural, and every kiss from then on felt natural, you felt natural to me, you were the only constant in my life, even if I couldn't be open about it. 

It was simple at first, all the small kisses, the holding hands outside at the lake when no one was around, the tears when the dementor's came for you and when the head splitting pains came around too, worse and worse each time, I hated every teasing word I ever said to you, even if we both agreed we could keep it up until we were ready, there were always apologies followed by kisses and 'I love you, you bugger's. I didn't think I deserved you then, and I still don't know why I thought I deserved you for this long. I didn't. I wear the mark of that who killed your mother and father, and will wear the scar for the rest of my life. It's over now, you killed him, you deserve to be happy, and I'm not sure if I could give that to you, and this is why this is for you.

I'm leaving, Harry. I'm not coming back. You'll come home from work, maybe mom will have found this and you'll cry over it together, maybe you'll have to tell her yourself, and I'm even worse of a son, and a boyfriend. I'll have been long gone by then, I don't know where I'm going, and I do not want you looking for me, Harry, you don't need me, you deserve so much better. You deserve happiness, you deserve someone whose not going to be drinking all day while you work, and pretending to not be hungover or drunk when you come home. You need someone who can help and actually do something when you wake up screaming in the night, and not just hold you and stay silent as you shake, you deserve someone who won't remind you of the man who killed your parents every time you take his shirt off for him. You deserve better. I want the best for you, and I realized long ago that that is not me.

I'll never forget about you, My Harry. You were my first enemy and my first love. You were the best for me, you brought out the good side of me, but I won't ever be able to do that for you. For every drink I took, for every word I didn't say, I ran farther and farther away from you. For every step you took, I was three behind you, and pulling you back with me. I'm releasing you now, the chain between us is gone, and you can find your full potential now. I wish you all the luck I can give you, and I love you with everything in me, Golden Boy.

\- Draco Malfoy'

The green eyed boy wasn't sure if he'd ever stop crying, he and Narcissa sat for hours, silent tears pouring from their eyes until dark, when they went to separate sides of the Manor, sobbing openly and freely now that they were alone. Harry and Draco's bed, which before felt too small, as Harry moved around in his sleep, even before the night terrors started, the feeling of a bigger bed always feeling foreign to him, felt even bigger than it was. The sheets on the other side were always cold, and for months, almost years, he would pile up pillows on the other side of the bed, and cuddle up to them, sleeping in Draco's old school sweaters, just to have some sense of feeling. He'd dream of Draco leaving him most nights, and would wake up screaming, failing to find Draco again, and crying harder when he remembered. For years, he looked, falling farther and farther into depression when he couldn't find him, he gave up then. He got a job. He'd been visiting Hogsmeade, just walking out of the Three Broomsticks when Hagrid was walking in, and the half-giant excitedly told him about the new position that Headmistress McGonagall was hiring for, a special course that Seventh Years could take, an Auror course, and Harry went back with Hagrid that day, and Minerva hired him right then. 

Being at Hogwarts again was a great feeling, it was strange not being a student, he ate with the other Professors, including Hermione Granger, who taught Muggle Studies. She was there with him as he continued with losing Draco, and so was Ron, who worked in Weasley's Wizards Wheezes. Nothing felt right, even then, but he at least felt less and less alone. He had plenty of students whom he'd befriended, and fell in love with his job. He was very grateful when McGonagall asked him to accompany those who could go to Hogsmeade on weekend's, and happily did so with other teacher's, feeling his heart sink as he watched the students that couldn't go wave goodbye to their friends. It'd been almost a decade since the Battle, but he couldn't blame those with parents who were still anxious about letting them leave the safety of the Hogwart's grounds, especially those with muggle parents, he could imagine hearing about Voldemort and the Battle of Hogwarts as a muggle parent would be downright horrific. 

Harry hadn't ever gotten over his dreams, visions, and night terrors, but students got kicks out of hearing his battle story, and some of them, mostly girls, even liked hearing about his school lovestory, which always left him feeling lonely and cold, even when he asked the students to go enjoy their time in Hogsmeade. He normally held these story-telling meetings at the Three Broomsticks, but this particular day, Madam Rosmerta asked him to take it somewhere else, it was a busy day, the last Hogsmeade visit before the holiday's and it was incredibly cold and frigid out, her Inn was almost completely full, and the pub area was full, and Madam Puddifoot's was too small, so to the Hog's Head they went. He always got a drink went he told his story, but today decided to not, as the Hog's Head didn't have as big of a variety as the Three Broomsticks, the students barely ever did either, all too eager to hear the retelling of the story, some there for the first time, and some coming back over and over again.

"Did you think you were going to die? Like really really die?" A tall, third year Ravenclaw girl, with big eyes asked him.

He gave a quick, breathy laugh through his mouth. "Of course I did, no matter what the stupid prophecy said, I didn't think either of us would live." He leaned back in his chair, sitting in the chair with it's back facing the bar. He pushed his glasses up as he listened to the students whisper and chatter among each other, and checked his watch. 

"I reckon you lot should go out and buy some sweets and jokes, we might have to head back earlier than normal." He said, the students agreeing and saying their goodbyes, some saying they'd see him in class, to which he nodded, agreed, and laid his head on his arms when he heard the chattering of schoolkids leave the pub. He idly rubbed the scar on his forehead, feeling phantom pains from it all the times, more so after retelling the Battle stories or having nightmares. He kept his head down for what felt like a few hours, until he heard the sounds of footsteps approaching, he lifted his head a bit when he heard the faceless person speak.

"Can I get you anything, Potter?" 

He felt his breathing catch in his throat, originally going to say no thank you, before he realized whose voice it was. He almost knocked his wooden chair over trying to stand from it and whipped around, coming face to (almost) face with a man. A man who hadn't changed in years, minus the scruff that was now showing up on the lower half of his face. A man whose skinny, lanky body still felt the same under his hands when he wrapped his arms around his waist, and whose hands still felt thin and bony on his back when he held him back. He wasn't totally sure if he had started crying until he pulled back, his hands still on his waist, and saw the long, pale face of Draco Malfoy, his cheeks tear stained and his grey eyes still watering, and felt the similar tracks of wetness on his face. He dove back into a hug with the taller man.

"You- You- You bugger!" He stuttered and yelled, laughing and crying as he held Draco tightly. "I swear if you ever do that again I will kill you, Malfoy, don't ever leave me again." 

Draco shook his head vigorously from side to side, holding Harry out a bit, lifting his chin with his hand and kissing him desperately, as if he was making up all of the missed kisses from the past years in just one. 

"I'm so sorry, golden boy, I'm never leaving you again." He said against his lips, before hugging the dark haired boy once more, tighter than before.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is an alternate version that I'm starting RIGHT AFTER HARRY READ THE LETTER IN THE LAST ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES THE OTHER MAN AND LITTLE GIRL IN THIS ARE NAMELESS BC I DIDNT KNOW WHO TO PUT IN DONT GET MAD PLS THIS IS MEANT TO FOCUS ON DRARRY ANYWAYS SO IT DOESNT MATTER
> 
> thanks for reading!!

*~ this begins after the reading of the note, stop now if you don't want sadness ~*

The green eyed boy wasn't sure if he'd ever stop crying, he and Narcissa sat for hours, silent tears pouring from their eyes until dark, when they went to separate sides of the Manor, sobbing openly and freely now that they were alone. Harry and Draco's bed, which before felt too small, as Harry moved around in his sleep, even before the night terrors started, the feeling of a bigger bed always feeling foreign to him, felt even bigger than it was. The sheets on the other side were always cold, and for months, almost years, he would pile up pillows on the other side of the bed, and cuddle up to them, sleeping in Draco's old school sweaters, just to have some sense of feeling. He'd dream of Draco leaving him most nights, and would wake up screaming, failing to find Draco again, and crying harder when he remembered. For years, he looked, falling farther and farther into depression when he couldn't find him, he gave up then. He got a job, though. He was working for the Ministry of Magic as an Auror for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. 

While working as an Auror, he kept his search for his ex-partner again, and felt like the worst Auror ever when he couldn't even find a single trace of him, years went by, and nothing came up, he stopped wearing Draco's old sweater's and kept them stored away in a box, and moved on, as best he could. He found another man though, and ended up being very happy with him, and adopted a "problem" child from an orphanage, who was a witch, of course this wasn't known by the women running the place, but it was all understood when Harry and his fiancé took her home, and showed her just what she could be capable of in the future. 

Harry still struggled in his depression, but his partner was always there with him, through ups and downs, during night terrors and panic attacks, of which there where many. He felt bad, he didn't have any idea how Draco was doing, he'd stopped searching for any sort of lead or connection to him by the time his daughter's 11th birthday rolled around, and she got her favorite birthday present that year, her Hogwarts letter. Harry was ecstatic, she showed signs of being in Gryffindor, and was already happily decorating her room with quidditch poster's and showed more and more interest in becoming a quidditch player each and everyday. He almost felt guilty for starting to feel happy again, but tried to ignore those feelings and thoughts, it was hard to hunt down dark witches and wizards when you were too upset to even move.

He still remembered the morning they'd promised they'd take their daughter to Diagon Alley, to get her school supplies, and the cat she'd been talking about wanting since she got her letter and school supply list. Harry held hands with his daughter all the way through the Leaky Cauldron and into the Alley, walking with Hagrid half of the way, talking to her about taking Care of Magical Creatures, which was something else she'd shown interest in, before splitting ways. They walked through the alley, which wasn't as crowded as they thought it would be, and went to Ollivander's first, to let their excited girl get her wand, finally. She continually charged ahead of her father's, courageously collecting her school things and even making friend's with a few other first year's already. As they were walking, Harry saw the Weasley joke shop, and leaned over to his partner, asking if he minded if he made a quick stop to see his friend, and set off with a quick kiss to his partner's cheek, to visit his friend.

While in the shop, he found that Ron and Hermione's own daughter was school shopping that day, and was out with Hermione. The two men talked for a bit before saying their goodbyes and promising to see each other on September 1st. Harry left the busy joke shop and continued his way down Diagon Alley, instinctively going towards Quality Quidditch Supplies, thinking his daughter probably dragged her father to the shop after spotting the word "Quidditch" there. As he walked swiftly, he heard his name being called, and stopped in the middle of the Alley, his face going pale as he recognized the voice. 

The pale face of Draco Malfoy was diving through people in the Alley. He was there to visit Pansy and her own kids as they school shopped, Draco didn't have his own kids to shop with, or a partner to have a kid with anyways, but he loved Pansy, and hadn't seen her in a while. While he was walking on his own for a bit, reliving memories from his own school days, he saw a familiar head of dark, incredibly and frustratingly messy hair, that belong to none other than Harry Potter. His Golden Boy. He shouted his name and chased after him, assuming that he was there visiting Weasley and Granger. He felt his heart pound as Harry turned and saw him, his face one of shock. 

He slammed into the short boy, his arms wrapping around his waist as he hugged him tightly, blabbering on and on about how sorry he was, and that he'd never leave him ever again. Harry hesitantly put his arms around Draco, but in a more friendly way, nothing like the hugs they used to share. The blonde male noticed this and pulled back, leaving his hands on his waist as Harry dropped his own.

"Harry? Aren't you happy to see me? I promise I'm not ever going to leave you again, we can be happy again, we can be together." His eyebrows knitted together. "Isn't that what you want, just like I do?" He said, leaning closer and closer to Harry's face, intending to kiss him. Harry put his hands up on Draco's chest and pushed him back, biting his lip.

"Dray, I-" He was cut off by the happy squealing of his daughter.

"Daddy, daddy! Look at what me an' Papa found!" She shouted, running over and grabbing Harry's hand.

"Okay! Okay, I'm coming!" He smiled down at her, allowing himself to be pulled in the direction of the quidditch shop, looking over his shoulder at the bewildered Draco, mouthing an "I'm sorry" quickly before walking at the same speed as his daughter. When he and his daughter reached the front of the store, she dropped his hand and held them against the shop window, looking excitedly at the newest broom to come out. Harry's partner asked him what was wrong, and the green eyed male shook his head, signally nothing, and the other man out his around Harry's waist, kissing his temple, and making a deal with his daughter to buy her the Nimbus 2000, now outdated, but still fast. The little girl was jumping for joy as they made their deal, and Harry looked over his shoulder, the blonde boy still standing in the middle of the alleyway, his expression not having changed at all.

The blonde watched as the man next to Harry led him and the little girl inside, and Draco finally let tears roll down his face, his heart feeling like it just got hit with the Killing Curse all on it's own. Of course Harry moved on, why wouldn't he? He'd basically told him to. It was his fault. He lost his golden boy, and it was his fault, he pushed him away. It was his fault. He breathed in deeply through his nose and kept walking through Diagon Alley, his sights set on the Leaky Cauldron, his feet feeling like he was dragging ten cauldrons behind on each foot.

Goddamn, he needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself for this lmao my heart hurts


End file.
